Toxicity in UK Charities PART 2 & Making amends with Yosemite Sam

Peace has finally been achieved, after seven years of holding so much pain towards ABFAB* I can finally say, I’m over it.

The Peta in 2014 would’ve been nervous AS HELL with the former director YOSEMITE SAM* because of our first encounter and their insensitive remarks.

Today it was quite the opposite, I woke up around midnight with other things I needed to send YOSEMITE SAM* before this call. I was actually excited and thought “damn I should’ve agreed to an earlier call*”

But there I was looking over my laundry list of questions, piecing over things that seemed to haunt me after my father’s death that ABFAB played a direct hand in. I was happy to hear YOSEMITE SAM* parents are still alive and well, I remember MAMA SAM very well. Our first encounter wasn’t a positive one, it left me shaken, in tears and just besides myself. Losing your father and feeling your job was at risk, it’s just not a nice feeling. I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone including QUEEN B*, CRUELLA DEVIL* and YOSEMITE SAM*

I signed in video chat about 10 minutes early and was happy to see him pop on, honestly I really was happy. It was weird, but a positive sign, I felt.

There were no negative feelings, it was small talk at first, I didn’t want to just throw YOSEMITE SAM* into the hot seat, although I can’t say the same in 2015, I probably would’ve wanted to send this whole lot to the London Dungeon. Where I would’ve been judge, juror and executioner — but I think throwing rotten veg, would’ve been good enough. just kidding. In all honesty despite everything, I will never forget my exit alongside the *BEST MANAGER EVER. That was good enough for me at the time and it still is.

But I’m being honest, because this exercise is worthless unless both parties aren’t completely honest with each other.

I took a deep breath. I had about 25 questions for him, pardon the pun, but seriously it was 25 questions, I won’t publish them here. It was between us, but I will say it was very productive, very healing and I think both of us got something out of it. He got to explain the situation and I got to listen and explain my feelings.

I’m extending the olive branch here to QUEEN B* and CRUELLA DEVIL* I would be more than willing to go on a video call with them, one-on-one to hear their side of the story too. But I will leave it up to them, CRUELLA DEVIL* hasn’t got back to me, but I hope in time she does or in some telepathic sense acknowledges her wrong doings.

Given the fact this was so many years ago, I couldn’t blame YOSEMITE SAM* memory to be a little foggy, but I did have one of my journals on hand, just to see if something might click for them.

I can’t say all of it did, but I could see he was trying as hard as he could and that was good enough for me.

All I wanted to get out of this was closure, accountability, answers and apologies. I got them all and much more. He clued me in on to some things, I was aware of, I brought up some things he wasn’t aware of but had an idea something like that was going on.

It was some people who felt entitled enough and special enough to “drop” BIG BOSS’s* name if they didn’t get their way, now I do recall what he recalled. If BIG BOSS* wanted something done, there was no second questioning it.

I personally don’t find that very healthy, when you hire an expert like YOSEMITE SAM* you should also take the time to listen to their expertise. But whatever BIG BOSS* wanted BIG BOSS* got. I’ve been in a situation like that before, not with ABFAB* but another CEO where the world was based according to their thoughts and their thoughts alone.

Those are real challenging personalities. My best advice to you, show them what a true rockstar you are. Get all your data, all your facts, all your reasons why XYZ won’t work, present your case. If your CEO still thinks the world is only according to their thoughts, put it in a documentation of some sort of what you tried to do but you were overruled in case anything goes wrong. This could be an email to yourself or our manager.

But when you’re in a toxic workplace, I can’t stress enough… document, document, document. Not only will it protect you, but if you reach a point in your life, like where I’m at. It will give you a better reflection, it might even inspire you to do something positive with it.

So unless I hear from the third individual, ABFAB* I’m over you, but I’m not over the good work you do for the UK and the wonderful colleagues I met along the way, whether they are still at ABFAB* or have moved on to bigger and better things. I’ll never forget any of you. I still have a few of you to reach out to, who left a positive impact on me.

Never be afraid to be the voice of your story, especially if you’re not around to tell it to others. One day, your time will come and I hope whatever toxicity you faced at your workplace, you’ll be able to find the peace you truly deserve.

Thank you for reading my story & Yosemite Sam, thank you for taking the time to answer my questions and having the courage too, for an open and honest conversation. I wish you and your team nothing but the best, I can personally see a change in you, I know your team is in good hands.